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NO H8!

Equality for All!

I am extending Kristin Chenoweth's question to God -

Why do so many people find homosexuality scarier than war?

Back to school!

Lesson plans!  Do they have to wear a tie?  Do I have to come?  What do you mean they can't have a phone?  How can I make them understand?  Oh the sounds of back to school, today I was working on my lesson plans for my parenting class trying to anticipate this years inevitable questions?  My first lesson this year is the 4 Keys to Emotional Wisdom, 1) Understanding you are in denial, 2) Reaching out and asking for the appropriate help, 3)  Developing the self esteem to set a personal policy, and 4) Commiting yourself to service.  What is interesting about this is that I teach parenting classes at the alternative school, we could spend the entire first semester just getting through the 1st Key!  My goal is to get the parents to Key 4 by the end of this school year!  Here's hoping!

Eve Ensler's Article


I am having Sarah Palin nightmares. I dreamt last night that she was a member of a club where they rode snowmobiles and wore the claws of drowned and starved polar bears around their necks. I have a particular thing for Polar Bears. Maybe it's their snowy whiteness or their bigness or the fact that they live in the arctic or that I have never seen one in person or touched one. Maybe it is the fact that they live so comfortably on ice. Whatever it is, I need the polar bears.

I don't like raging at women. I am a Feminist and have spent my life trying to build community, help empower women and stop violence against them. It is hard to write about Sarah Palin. This is why the Sarah Palin choice was all the more insidious and cynical. The people who made this choice count on the goodness and solidarity of Feminists.

But everything Sarah Palin believes in and practices is antithetical to Feminism which for me is part of one story -- connected to saving the earth, ending racism, empowering women, giving young girls options, opening our minds, deepening tolerance, and ending violence and war.

I believe that the McCain/Palin ticket is one of the most dangerous choices of my lifetime, and should this country chose those candidates the fall-out may be so great, the destruction so vast in so many areas that America may never recover. But what is equally disturbing is the impact that duo would have on the rest of the world. Unfortunately, this is not a joke. In my lifetime I have seen the clownish, the inept, the bizarre be elected to the presidency with regularity.

Sarah Palin does not believe in evolution. I take this as a metaphor. In her world and the world of Fundamentalists nothing changes or gets better or evolves. She does not believe in global warming. The melting of the arctic, the storms that are destroying our cities, the pollution and rise of cancers, are all part of God's plan. She is fighting to take the polar bears off the endangered species list. The earth, in Palin's view, is here to be taken and plundered. The wolves and the bears are here to be shot and plundered. The oil is here to be taken and plundered. Iraq is here to be taken and plundered. As she said herself of the Iraqi war, "It was a task from God."

Sarah Palin does not believe in abortion. She does not believe women who are raped and incested and ripped open against their will should have a right to determine whether they have their rapist's baby or not.

She obviously does not believe in sex education or birth control. I imagine her daughter was practicing abstinence and we know how many babies that makes.

Sarah Palin does not much believe in thinking. From what I gather she has tried to ban books from the library, has a tendency to dispense with people who think independently. She cannot tolerate an environment of ambiguity and difference. This is a woman who could and might very well be the next president of the United States. She would govern one of the most diverse populations on the earth.

Sarah believes in guns. She has her own custom Austrian hunting rifle. She has been known to kill 40 caribou at a clip. She has shot hundreds of wolves from the air.

Sarah believes in God. That is of course her right, her private right. But when God and Guns come together in the public sector, when war is declared in God's name, when the rights of women are denied in his name, that is the end of separation of church and state and the undoing of everything America has ever tried to be.

I write to my sisters. I write because I believe we hold this election in our hands. This vote is a vote that will determine the future not just of the U.S., but of the planet. It will determine whether we create policies to save the earth or make it forever uninhabitable for humans. It will determine whether we move towards dialogue and diplomacy in the world or whether we escalate violence through invasion, undermining and attack. It will determine whether we go for oil, strip mining, coal burning or invest our money in alternatives that will free us from dependency and destruction. It will determine if money gets spent on education and healthcare or whether we build more and more methods of killing. It will determine whether America is a free open tolerant society or a closed place of fear, fundamentalism and aggression.

If the Polar Bears don't move you to go and do everything in your power to get Obama elected then consider the chant that filled the hall after Palin spoke at the RNC, "Drill Drill Drill." I think of teeth when I think of drills. I think of rape. I think of destruction. I think of domination. I think of military exercises that force mindless repetition, emptying the brain of analysis, doubt, ambiguity or dissent. I think of pain.

Do we want a future of drilling? More holes in the ozone, in the floor of the sea, more holes in our thinking, in the trust between nations and peoples, more holes in the fabric of this precious thing we call life?

I am having Sarah Palin nightmares. I dreamt last night that she was a member of a club where they rode snowmobiles and wore the claws of drowned and starved polar bears around their necks. I have a p...
I am having Sarah Palin nightmares. I dreamt last night that she was a member of a club where they rode snowmobiles and wore the claws of drowned and starved polar bears around their necks. I have a p...

Decisions, Answers, Clarity, Relief

Decisions
Decisions produce results
Decisions are difficult to make, but they yield definitive answers
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Answers
Answers are forthcoming
Answers deliver clarity
Answers, Answers, Answers

Clarity
Clarity is divine self actualization
Clarity brings sweet relief
Clarity, Clarity, Clarity

Relief
Relief is your reward
Relief brings comfort to a weary soul
Relief, Relief, Relief

The Extinguishing Of A Light

Light. It provides us a sense of security, comfort, and peace. One has many sources of light in their lives. There are tangible sources of light, thanks to good ole ‘Ben Franklin.’ However, my favorite sources of light are the intangible sources. Those bright luminous intangible light sources that come into your life and brighten everything and everyone around.

Examples of these are that special someone who knows that just oh so special spot that can send you shattering into a bright kaleidoscope of light reflecting everywhere. That best friend that reminds you why you should do that something you want to do because you deserve it; after all you have worked hard to get here to this point! They are that bright ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Finally, our mothers are the bearers of light that bring us into the world and guide us. As I write this I am struck by my experiences with mothers as of late. For you see one mother’s light has been extinguished this week, another mother’s light was lit, and one mother’s light has been rekindled.

I find myself humbled by these experiences, and I feel the need to explain them in better detail.

The Newly Lit Light

This is the story of new mother of a baby girl. One can view the mother as the newly lit light, or one can view the newborn baby girl as the newly lit light. Either way you look at they are both newly lit lights!

The Light Rekindled

This is the story of a dear friend of mine involved in a very embattled bitter custody dispute. Her light radiates a newly rekindled fierceness, a Mama Bear light.

The Light Extinguished

Finally, the light extinguished is the story of my cousin who passed on into her eternal light last week. Her light has been extinguished. Yet I actually challenge that her light has been extinguished, it simply does not burn within here anymore. It burns now in her daughters, and in our hearts and our memories we carry with us of her!

The lights in our life comfort and keep us. They illuminate our paths and remind us of our direction. We only need to open our hearts, not our eyes to see them.


Lifeless Love, Comfortable Peace

Are relationships doomed to eventual disintegration?  Or do we give up trying?  Is it possible to recover, to begin again?  There is so much love in my heart yet at times I feel lifeless.  Is this what is known as comfortable peace?  I Do Not Want A Comfortable Peace!  I do not want to continue feeling lifeless.  I want passion in my relationships.  I must fight complacency.  I think we, meaning the collective we, have a tendency to give in to routines and we become monotonous drones.  We give ourselves over to that comfortable peace, and resign ourselves to lifeless love.  Starting here and now, I QUIT!  I will no longer sit and live in comfortable peace.  I will love you all and life with a deserved passion! 

Thoughts on Slackers

It has come to my attention that life has become much too complicated.  We are too goal oriented, too results driven, too damn busy!  It is time for a change.  Parents spend hours on end transporting their children to the myriad of afterschool activities the participate in nightly.  I wonder does it occur to them to slow down and talk to one another?  Do parents and children even talk to one another anymore?  We must reopen those lines of communication with our children!

There is something to be said for the slacker who appears to do nothing.  The slacker may be our wisest member of society, for the slacker lives for his happiness.  One must consider we are promised nothing in our life, so it is up to us to find our happiness.  The wise slacker knows this lesson well.   While others view the slacker as lacking drive or having no goals, the slacker is in fact completely driven and has but one goal; to live his life to the fullest and serve his happiness.  It would well serve society to emulate the slacker once and awhile.

Finally, I think we must live each day as if it is our last.  It is the only way we can be sure to live each day of our lives to the fullest.  Make every moment last, choose to live in each moment, and milk it for all it is worth.  Be the now you!

Life's Ramblings

So, it has been awhile since my last post.  

It has been a little over a month since my father-in-law passed away and my surgery.  To say it has been difficult would be a large understatement.  It is very difficult to watch someone you love so completely grieve so deeply, and then feel guilty because you are more consumed by your own grief to really be of any comfort to him.  We have really been a source of great comfort and great contempt to one another in this month.  However, we have made it through, we did prevail.  We even managed to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary!  I came up with a list of words that I felt described what love means to mean, I would like to share them:  (please bear in mind these are my words in my universe)
                                        Trifling                                                                                                                                      
                                        Praying
                                        Working
                                        Lifeing
                                        Hopeing
                                        Listening
                                        Waiting
                                        Believing

For all of you who left kind words or thoughtful emails, we appreciate your sentiments and we feel you presence in our lives and hearts.

Now on to goals, I have set a goal to be a size four by Christmas!  I will need everyone's encouragement and good will to accomplish this!  Please send all your positive thoughts and good energies my way.  Since surgery  (1/25/07)I have lost 105 lbs, I need to lose about 40-50 lbs to be the weight I want to be.  I will make it there!  I have joined a gym to work out and to combat the excess skin I have hanging, it is working!  I am becoming more defined!  

On a happy note, we were in Asheville, NC this past weekend for the Bele Chere Festival (which by the way is a great music festival) we had an incredibly good time!  Asheville is a really great town, a lot like San Francisco I am told.  As we were coming home, I was watching the mountains as we drove by, and I suddenly got the lyric "For Purple Mountain's Majesty"  it was absolutely breathtaking.  So beautiful what God has created for us, we all should really stop and notice these simple majesties more often!  I know I don't do often enough, but I trying to change that.  I am trying to live each day of my life like it may be my last, cause someone wise told me it was the only way to really have fun.  I think they are right.  So as I end this diatribe, I hope you all will live each day like it is your last, cause then I know you are having fun!  Peace to you all.

Let the healing begin!

Wow, where do I begin?  First off, I will tell you about my life lately.  On June 13th I had a D&C, an Endometrial Ablation, and a Tubal Ligation.  All went well eventually, but after they had anesthetized me, an emergency C section came in and because I was under anesthesia for so long, my respiration started to fall and I had to be intubated.  Not to worry all is well now, I came through surgery fine!  

On a sad not however, on Saturday June 16th my father-in-law passed away.  Sadly, my husband was on his way to visit him for Father's day and missed him by three hours.  The past week was quite an emotional roller coaster to say the least.  We are grieving and we ask for your prayers and good thoughts to sustain us and get us through.  We say thank you to those who have been praying and those who have called or sent notes. 

Now to my thoughts on all this, as you might imagine, grieving has been my primary emotion lately!  I am grieving the loss of my ability to have children and my father-in-law, my only ally in my husband's family.  I am completely bare at this point.  I will say this, I love my husband fiercely, and will fight like a caged lion for him!  I feel utterly helpless that I cannot make everything better for him.  I must understand that this greater than I am, and there is a greater comforter than me in this situation, I am humbled.  Until later, peace be with you.